Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth.

I have this song stuck in my head, written off of this psalm. My mom used to sing this song when she led worship, it was a 90s staple. Was going to find the video to post but everything I found was super cheesy (it's by Brian Doerksen if you want to find it yourself). 

Other lines in the song are "Oh how I need you Lord, you are my only hope, you're my only prayer. So I will wait for you, to come and rescue me, come and give me life." Maybe there was just something about my single mother saying these words with real meaning that made it stick for me, I don't know, but this cheesy worship song (psalm) just... hits different for me.

I sometimes think of struggle with sin, dealing with one's pride or not what, is a way that God tangibly instills this desperation into us. If we go too long without practicing examen, seeing the ways we've disappointed hurt our Creator, we lose need for Him. We may be ashamed or frustrated when we stumble, when our hearts get exposed for what's really there, (sometimes feels like we should be past that now). But I look at it as God's way of saying "Hey, remember, you can't do this on your own, I'm always here to help, just ask. I'll come roaring down the mountain for you. Just lift up your eyes."

We don't all get to be the single mother with what seems like no hope at times, but like I've said time and time again, Jesus finds a way to come after us with everything He is. Even if that's letting us struggle in our own stupidity long enough to learn to lift up our eyes.